I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
