Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
