Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
