Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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