I feel great
I just peed on a car
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
