Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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