Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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