I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
