I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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