I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
