just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
