No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
