You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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