I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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