you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
