she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize