She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
