community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It's never too late to be topless.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
