i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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