It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
God I need to hump something, right now.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
