I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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