i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
