Your dad touched me again.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
