we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
