his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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