Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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