He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So much rum. So many feels.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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