you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
