So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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