community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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