man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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