This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
