I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
