You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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