Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
