how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
should my penis look like a turkey
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
