PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
