: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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