I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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