Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
