Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
that's an acceptable place to lick
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
