How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
