Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
