She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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