I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize