weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
