Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you will always have a special place in my vag
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
