I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
