you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
