I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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