his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Never underestimate the power of titties
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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