apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
