It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
