my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
