True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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