pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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