We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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