Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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