At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
