Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
