If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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