can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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