I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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